Tomorrow it Starts

How is Lindsey doing? The question of the month that has been asked to my parents and fiancé about a million times. Unfortunately for them, I'm not one to constantly share my feelings, so they are left with guessing my thoughts.

So that they don't have to make up answers for me, I will help them out.

Tomorrow is surgery so I am honestly a roller coaster of emotions. I'm nervous about having surgery, but also ready to get this done! I check in at 6 am and surgery starts at 9 am. 

There are good days and bad days. Some people are more comfortable hearing the good, so if you are one of those people just skip this paragraph! I am angry. Angry that I am not in school and my friends are all about to graduate. Angry that I'm not teaching students and doing what I love to do. Angry that I'm sitting around just waiting for a horrible surgery that I don't want to go through. Angry that my life will never be the same.

But there are good days too! I know that no matter my circumstances, God is God. Nothing in this life can change who He is and what He has done for me. One of my favorite songs right now is "Eternity" by Alanna Story. It reminds me of God's steadfast love and faithfulness in everything:
     From eternity to eternity. You have always been You'll forever be.
     No matter the season, in dark and in light.
     In consuming fires and waters that rise.
     You're faithful. You remain.
     When Your love surrounds me and fills me inside.
     When Your word is my anchor and lights up my life.
     Forever, You remain.

I am so grateful for all of the prayer and support coming my way. Here are some more specific Prayer Requests!

  • My family: My parents have been so supportive and I know this is stressful for them! I pray that they feel God's peace and comfort in every step.
  • My fiancé: Rodric has been absolutely amazing and supportive, but I know he is worried and nervous! I pray that he trusts in our powerful God and is filled with His peace that surpasses all understanding. 
  • Healing: Hopefully a speedy recovery, but this is a long process!
  • No Chemo: This part of treatment is still up in the air, and I won't know for sure until the 17th. But I would really like to avoid chemo if at all possible :)
  • Peace and Comfort: This is a crazy process and God's peace is really what is going to get me through this. Knowing that He is in control and I can't do anything but trust Him. 

Our God is so big and so great! His sovereign hand is in every part of this, whether we see it now or not. I have no doubt that I will come out of this horrible process with a greater understanding of who He is and how much I need Him.
"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock."  - Isaiah 26:3-4

Comments

  1. MichelleMarch 2, 2015 at 9:19 PM

    Look at you being all open and vulnerable!
    LOVE it!
    Good for you!
    Your trust in God is REAL ...but so is your humanness.
    Just keep turning your frustration, anger, fears over to the Lord and He WILL give you the peace that passes ALL understanding!
    I love you! Michelle

    ReplyDelete

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