The Return
The “I Don’t Even Have the Gene” blog is back for another round! I’m sharing my experience for a few reasons: I don’t have to share my difficult situation over and over, and hopefully you will see God’s love and grace in the midst of trial.
My breast cancer has returned. This time it wasn’t announced in one conversation. I had a feeling it had come back before anything had happened. I see this as God’s grace and kindness to prepare my heart to handle this crappy situation.
Recap of four years ago: Four years ago, I told about my first round of breast cancer. I had a double mastectomy, and estrogen-blocking medication. No chemo or radiation. I had genetic testing and did not test positive for the gene (*cough cough* name of the blog).
Today: This time the path to take is a little less certain. I have already had one surgery, but am having another to hopefully remove anything concerning and have clear margins. For that surgery, I will be out of work for three weeks. Radiation is definitely in my future, but at the moment, we are deciding between some chemo options to do before radiation. The purpose of chemo is to make sure that any unseen/potentially traveling cancer cells are taken care of. This will be a longer and slower journey than before.
Emotionally: I have never been this emotional in my life. I am a very logical thinker and I don’t see the purpose in stopping life for something that is difficult, and this new situation has made my usual approach difficult. I am waffling between many emotions and thoughts. I am nervous and hate not knowing the plan and getting little bits of information at a time. I am angry that I have to deal with this when the most common response I get from others is, “Wow, but you’re so young!” I can tell you that the things I have gone through have made me not feel young at all, and telling me how unusual my situation is does not help how I’m feeling. On the other side of the emotional spectrum, I feel hopeful and at peace. The Lord has walked many women through this valley that I’m about to go through and given them strength, and I know He will do the same for me.
I already feel blessed with the support I have received from my family, husband, and everyone in my life. I have been given a gift with the class of students I have this year. They make it easy and joyful to come to work. As hard as this season of life will be, I have no doubt that it is possible.
I will be adding posts to this blog to give updates when needed and when I am able. Welcome back to the window into my life!
“The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Dumbledore 😊
My breast cancer has returned. This time it wasn’t announced in one conversation. I had a feeling it had come back before anything had happened. I see this as God’s grace and kindness to prepare my heart to handle this crappy situation.
Recap of four years ago: Four years ago, I told about my first round of breast cancer. I had a double mastectomy, and estrogen-blocking medication. No chemo or radiation. I had genetic testing and did not test positive for the gene (*cough cough* name of the blog).
Today: This time the path to take is a little less certain. I have already had one surgery, but am having another to hopefully remove anything concerning and have clear margins. For that surgery, I will be out of work for three weeks. Radiation is definitely in my future, but at the moment, we are deciding between some chemo options to do before radiation. The purpose of chemo is to make sure that any unseen/potentially traveling cancer cells are taken care of. This will be a longer and slower journey than before.
Emotionally: I have never been this emotional in my life. I am a very logical thinker and I don’t see the purpose in stopping life for something that is difficult, and this new situation has made my usual approach difficult. I am waffling between many emotions and thoughts. I am nervous and hate not knowing the plan and getting little bits of information at a time. I am angry that I have to deal with this when the most common response I get from others is, “Wow, but you’re so young!” I can tell you that the things I have gone through have made me not feel young at all, and telling me how unusual my situation is does not help how I’m feeling. On the other side of the emotional spectrum, I feel hopeful and at peace. The Lord has walked many women through this valley that I’m about to go through and given them strength, and I know He will do the same for me.
I already feel blessed with the support I have received from my family, husband, and everyone in my life. I have been given a gift with the class of students I have this year. They make it easy and joyful to come to work. As hard as this season of life will be, I have no doubt that it is possible.
I will be adding posts to this blog to give updates when needed and when I am able. Welcome back to the window into my life!
“The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Dumbledore 😊
So sorry you had to go through this again. I can so relate to your line "I am nervous and hate not know the plan and getting little bits of information at a time". So, so true. The not knowing the plan was the hardest time for me. I ask God to give you peace that He knows the plan. Trust God! He will bring you though this bump in your life. Let me know if you need tips regarding radiation.
ReplyDeleteLindsey, please know that we are praying for you. May God grant you a peace that surpasses all understanding. Philippians 4:7
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you have to go through more if this. As a mammo technologist I occasionally read the results of malignant biopsies and my heart drops every time. We are not involved in our patients treatment and recovery, so we never find out how they are doing. You are such a wonderful young woman and I can not wrap my head around this news. You are so wise, way beyond your years. I'm praying for you that the Lord will give you the strength to deal with this one more time.
ReplyDeleteRic and I love you and are praying multiple times a day for you. You are always in our thoughts. Thank you so much for being willing to express your thoughts and feelings honestly in this blog! Waiting for the next piece of medical news has got to be so hard...as well as not knowing the full plan! We are trusting God with you and will pray for endurance and peace as you get ready for surgery and treatments to follow. We're here for you and love you and Rodric!
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