My Cushy Life

Well, I'm a month out of my first surgery with the next one scheduled for May 4th. The first one is the most difficult, physically and emotionally, so I think the worst is over! I'm healing well, but I still have a long process ahead of me. I wish everything was done already, and I still have at least six more  months of surgeries and healing to go... Patience is not a strength of mine.

I found out a HUGE answer to prayer yesterday and I am very excited! I will not be going through chemotherapy!!! As a girl who has worked really hard to grow her hair out for her wedding, I am so excited! Thank you so much for all of your prayers for this! God is so good!

I now have some freedom back, because I am driving again! And I am allowed to exercise more than slowly walking around, which is exciting! You would think that sitting on the couch and relaxing would be amazing, but I was so bored! I am one of those people who purposefully stays busy because I can't handle an empty to-do list.

I want to share a quote that I read the other day.
     "'I am crucified with Christ.' In essence, I am laying my desires, my thoughts about what is best,  
     and my dreams at the cross. My life is no longer about me, but my faithful, sovereign God... I
     worship You as the Sustainer and Provider who is more concerned about my growth than my
     cushy life!" Susan Sorensen, Praying Through Cancer

God is more concerned with my growth than my cushy life. But, I want my life to be cushy! I think that's where my passion for planning comes in. I plan my life a couple years at a time. And this whole cancer thing has definitely thrown my plan out the window. But if the Sustainer of my life isn't concerned with the cushy-ness of my life, then why should I be? Part of my job is to trust in the One who knows, even when things don't go my way. God is not surprised by anything. He was not surprised by my cancer, or by my life plan being thrown into chaos. Because of that, trusting in the God who creates, knows, saves, and loves becomes the biggest blessing and comfort we can ever imagine.

My prayer for this Easter is that God would teach me how much I need Him. I needed Jesus to take my place on that cross. I needed Jesus to open that door for me to have a relationship with my Creator. I needed Him to walk through temptation and suffering so that I know it is possible. I need His strength to get through each day.

"I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20