I Don't Even Have the Gene

Well the hardest part of my journey is DONE. I have only one more of the more toxic chemo sessions left (then 12 of a different drug) and I have shaved my hair! Unfortunately, I had to shave my hair on Christmas Eve. It was so hard! Thankfully, my dad did it for me at my parents house. I cried for about five minutes straight and it still sucks, but the hardest part is done. I have many looks I’m still getting used to: the totally bald, the hats, and a wig. None feel normal. It will be a long time until I feel like myself again but I’m determined to make the best of it and step out of my comfort zone to try to have fun with it. School started again and I thought it would be way harder than it was! I’ve said it before, but I have been so blessed this year by my coworkers and students. Every acknowledgment and compliment of my wig gave me the confidence I needed. My students and I had a conversation about it. They are so wonderful and sweet. While we all awknowledged that I look differ

First chemo: Dec. 7, 2018 Unexpected blessing: The day before I started chemo I was invited to a cancer group. I was skeptical but it turned out to be awesome! It was a small group with welcoming people and lots of different stories. I loved that we could laugh and talk about life and not have cancer be this big lead balloon in the room that covered all the joy.  Thanks for letting me come! :) Chemo Details-ish:  I took half a day off of work on Friday and had a three hour infusion. My mom came with me (yay for moms!!). It wasn’t fun but wasn’t horrible. I didn’t start to feel nauseous until an hour after I got home. There are a few anti-nausea meds I’ve been trying out.  Currently I am still at home. The whole weekend I felt pretty icky and didn’t eat much. I’m feeling a little better today and will hopefully be able to go to work for the last six school days before Christmas break! Saltine crackers and fruit smoothies have been my best friends! One chemo down, 14 to go!!! Goi

Last Tuesday I had the last surgery that I will have for a while. I had cancerous tissue removed and had a chemo port placed. I’m not allowed to shower yet or drive. I am definitely still bruised, sore, and very slow moving! I am missing my normal life and the freedom to do anything and go anywhere, alone! Going forward: Chemo will be starting on December 7th and will be done every 1-2 weeks for about 4 months. I’m waiting to see how I’m feeling before deciding to take any more than just the time for the appointments off of work. Helpful things: Prayer for contentment, and hand sanitizer to keep me healthy while trying to continue working! We did go out and walk around in Everett today and grab coffee. It felt so good to be outside after being stuck on the couch for so long! I am only a third of the way through my time off of work and I am itching to do things! It will feel very good to get back to work and reestablish some normality in my life. However, I did receive a video fr

The “I Don’t Even Have the Gene” blog is back for another round! I’m sharing my experience for a few reasons: I don’t have to share my difficult situation over and over, and hopefully you will see God’s love and grace in the midst of trial. My breast cancer has returned. This time it wasn’t announced in one conversation. I had a feeling it had come back before anything had happened. I see this as God’s grace and kindness to prepare my heart to handle this crappy situation. Recap of four years ago: Four years ago, I told about my first round of breast cancer. I had a double mastectomy, and estrogen-blocking medication. No chemo or radiation. I had genetic testing and did not test positive for the gene (*cough cough* name of the blog). Today: This time the path to take is a little less certain. I have already had one surgery, but am having another to hopefully remove anything concerning and have clear margins. For that surgery, I will be out of work for three weeks. Radiation is de

Well it's time for the next surgery already! Tomorrow , May 4th, I'll be starting the reconstruction process. It is a short one and I'll be home in the afternoon, which will be so much better than staying in the hospital! I am pleased to say that I will be returning to Biola to finish both my degree and teaching credential starting in the Fall! Although it is not quite how I was hoping to finish school, I love Biola and I'm so excited to go back! My fiancé and I also decided to postpone our wedding until I finish school next Spring. A hard decision, but the best one! I think I may have mentioned before that I am not a fan of change. I am a firm believer in routine and that change is frustrating, horrible, and unnecessary (at least for the most part). Cancer obviously changes things. It changed the pace of my life. It changed me physically and emotionally. Cancer changes you permanently . Life goes on, but it is different. It will not be the same normal that I had be

Well, I'm a month out of my first surgery with the next one scheduled for May 4th . The first one is the most difficult, physically and emotionally, so I think the worst is over! I'm healing well, but I still have a long process ahead of me. I wish everything was done already, and I still have at least six more  months of surgeries and healing to go... Patience is not a strength of mine. I found out a HUGE answer to prayer yesterday and I am very excited! I will not be going through chemotherapy!!! As a girl who has worked really hard to grow her hair out for her wedding, I am so excited! Thank you so much for all of your prayers for this! God is so good! I now have some freedom back, because I am driving again! And I am allowed to exercise more than slowly walking around, which is exciting! You would think that sitting on the couch and relaxing would be amazing, but I was so bored! I am one of those people who purposefully stays busy because I can't handle an empty to-